Myriad: 2009

Thursday, October 1, 2009

I Hope This Is True

A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver’s license?
Biker: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?
Biker: It’s not my bike. I stole it.

Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
Biker: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There’s a gun in the tool bag?
Biker: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.

Officer: There’s drugs in the saddle bags too!?
Biker: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Biker: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.

Captain: Who’s motorcycle is this?
Biker: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Biker: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.

Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there’s drugs in them.
Biker: No problem.
The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.

Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
Biker: Yeah, I’ll bet he told you I was speeding, too.